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Chapter 1. Guiding Principles > 3. Find Common Ground Without Forcing Change

3. Find Common Ground Without Forcing Change

Overarching mutual concern and interest paves the way to move from disagreement to win-win resolution. The only disagreements of any real importance are those that involve people in interdependent relationships— where each person depends on the other to get a task done or to gain satisfaction. Therefore, inherent in mutual dependence is the existence of common ground.

In a dispute, it is tempting to force or expect others to change their basic orientation or behavioral style. People, oneself included, change basic patterns only with difficulty, only where there is trust, and only when they believe it is in their best interest to change. Until trust and respect are established, what helps is a shared larger vision and common long-range goals.


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