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Chapter 29. Developing Your Emotional In... > Dealing with Your Own Feelings

Dealing with Your Own Feelings

Sometimes the most problematic aspect of someone being angry with you is your reaction. It can lead you to do things that are destructive to your own interests, such as creating open conflict in the office. Being aware of your feelings and not letting your distress interfere with your perception of what is happening or the way you choose to respond is the core of an emotional intelligence approach.

Facing someone’s anger or opposition to the path we wish to take can trigger a “fight-or-flight” reaction. When our ancestors faced wild beasts thousands of years ago, this fight or flight reaction was critical to survival. It would have been very dangerous to stand and watch the animals approaching with their teeth barred, rather than running away or picking up a stone. However, in today’s world, the fight-or-flight reaction can drive you to respond in ways that are self-destructive. In business, remaining calm and letting something roll off your back is often the best reaction. Doing this is often difficult, since it goes against biologically programmed instincts, but it can be very successful.


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