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Chapter 3. What Makes Difficult People T... > What Are Difficult People After? - Pg. 30

What Makes Difficult People Tick ... and Tick ... 30 So, again, how does this knowledge help you deal more effectively with difficult behavior? It's the mind-set thing. You have a choice. You can look at people behaving in difficult ways as evil, out to get you, or as disturbed, and that's not going to help you be constructive. Or, you can consider that people behaving badly are doing so as a result of ... · being rewarded for it in the past or the present. · an inability to do things in a more constructive way. · an emotional intensity that they can't handle well. Taken together, these things tell you something. The difficult person is often someone who needs help. You have the option of providing that help and being constructive and compassionate, or coming down hard on the person. Which of these do you think is going to be more likely to succeed? Right! While sometimes it is necessary to be firm, looking at difficult people as people who need our help is a much more effective starting point for improving things. What Are Difficult People After? We've explained part of the "why" of difficult behavior, but there's still more to the picture. Apart from having learned that difficult behavior is rewarding or lacking the skills to handle a situation better or even being upset, what is it that those darn people want? Another way of putting it is: If people are difficult because they tend to be rewarded for it, what are the rewards? From the Manager's Desk