Share this Page URL

Chapter 3. What Makes Difficult People T... > You Don't Need to Be a Shrink - Pg. 26

What Makes Difficult People Tick ... and Tick ... 26 You Don't Need to Be a Shrink There's a trick to understanding difficult behavior. If you'll remember, in the last chapter we talked about how important it is to avoid labeling people as difficult, and to look at the difficult behaviors. In that discussion we suggested that labeling people makes you less able to deal with difficult sit- uations, because it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy; you believe a person is difficult and in doing so treat them in ways that tend to encourage them to be difficult. When you focus on the person and his or her personality or character rather than behavior, you tend to try to analyze the person into the ground. In a way, you play amateur psychologist. You sit there, ruminating and mumbling; did the person have a tough childhood? Does he have some strange psychological malady? Is she some strange psychological type that just doesn't fit in? This Won't Work! Becoming too involved in figuring out why people do what they do is usually a bad idea. It takes time; you'll often reach in incorrect conclusion; and it keeps you from dealing with behavior.