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Chapter 3. What Makes Difficult People T... > What Are Difficult People After? - Pg. 31

What Makes Difficult People Tick ... and Tick ... 31 How does this link up with being rewarded for bad behavior? Simple. Many of the behaviors exhibited by difficult people have, at their core, the outcome of controlling the situation or other people's reactions. A person being difficult and creating problems is, in a sense, controlling those around him or her. People react to a difficult person. That allows a difficult person to manipulate, control, and influence, even if the reactions are negative. In a sense, the difficult person is creating those reac- tions, and therein lies the reinforcement. It's kind of like parents and children. After children know what the parents don't want them to do, they have the exact information they need to get the parents' attention. Insider Secrets Some people really are control freaks and want power over others. Most people want something that's less problematic--a sense that they have a hand in their own destiny and are not hurtling out of control. Interestingly, there are also some people who are comfortable not being in control because they believe that no matter what they do, others are going to determine what happens to them. It's a psychological reward. Even if bad things happen to people who are difficult, they have created the situation, and that gives them a sense of control.