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Chapter 23. We're All Difficult Sometime... > Why Looking at Yourself Is So Import... - Pg. 244

We're All Difficult Sometimes--Are You Difficult oo Much? 244 First, you've probably been using the same difficult behaviors for many years. You use many of them automatically, whether it's interrupting someone who is speaking to you or choosing the wrong phrase and offending someone. So many of these things have become habits. You've been doing them for a long time, and you don't even think about them. The only way you can look at them is if you look for them. You have to hunt them down like bugs! Insider Secrets It's easier to recognize our really big flaws than our little ones. We take our little ones for granted, and people often don't tell us about them. Unfortunately, most average difficult people are perceived as difficult because of all the small, difficult quirks that pile up, not because of one or two major traits. So when you look at yourself, take into account that you may have a number of little quirks that add up to make you appear difficult to other people. The second thing that makes it so hard is that we can't step out of our perceptual goggles through which we look at things. It's a challenge to see ourselves through the eyes and minds of other people. We can only use our own perceptions and our own standards Those perceptions and standards color how we see ourselves, and it's likely our "glasses" are going to be different from each of the people around us. If we want to know how other people see us, ultimately we have to involve them