The Magical Manipulative Ways of the Difficult Don't assume that because a person is normally not difficult that they can't be difficult in some situations. By realizing everyone is difficult sometimes, you are less likely to be shocked or surprised, or to respond in ways that make situations worse. 18 When difficult behavior comes from someone who doesn't usually act that way, it can catch us unawares. That's when we make mistakes. Back to the question. As we said earlier, people act in situation-specific ways. Also, everyone is capable of acting in difficult ways. True, some do it more often than others, but everyone, let's repeat, everyone is difficult sometimes, even the most mild-mannered individual. To be prepared to deal with difficult behavior, recognize that it can come from anyone. After you get that mind-set, you are less likely to be surprised or stunned and handle the situation badly. It Takes Two They say it takes two to tango. It takes two to make a baby. It also takes two to make an argument and to make a difficult situation worse. Why am I telling you this? It's simple. We live in a blaming culture. When something unpleasant happens, the first thing people do is to pick someone to blame, someone to hold at fault. Unfortu-nately, that approach doesn't work very well in solving problems, and it certainly doesn't work very well in dealing with difficult people. A very important step in becoming better at dealing with difficult people and situations is to put the blaming aside. There's a very simple reason. When you blame someone you tend to get angry and act angry. When you are angry you are less able to deal with the difficult situation in a constructive way. You lose control. You say things you regret. You do all the things human beings do when they get angry, and unfortunately most of those things make it worse.