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Chapter 8. Parrying the Difficult Thrust... > Have Some Cheese with the Whine - Pg. 75

Parrying the Difficult Thrusts 75 Let's introduce Paul. Come on out, Paul. Oh, heck, he doesn't want to come out, he's too busy, and he doesn't hesitate to tell me how he's overworked, underpaid, and gets no respect. And he has a habit of sounding like a whining child. Oh, here he comes. Here are a few things that folks like Paul do and say: · I never get the good assignments. · People don't listen to me. · Everyone's out to get me. · People don't like me. So what do I do? Where do I start? The first thing I need to do is determine whether this is a really important problem that I need to deal with. Remember the reality check principle? OK, I need to look at the results of his behavior. First, it bugs me. I can't stand the whining that occurs almost every day. Well, that's not really enough to make this a serious problem, so are there other results? Yes. I know if I ignore this, things will get worse. Paul's coworkers are showing impatience with him, and Sarah told me that she can't stand working with him. Also, I hear that he's been whining to outsiders about how badly he's treated on the job. It's not a good image to project to customers. I know that if this continues, people are going to start ignoring him and might just get so fed up they do try to get back at him. That's going to make Paul's behavior worse. OK, that's good enough for me. I can't sit in my office and allow this. We're going to introduce several communication techniques here that are going to help me (and you) not only deal with this situation, but also similar ones. Feedback is only one of the methods we'll be using.