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Chapter 10. Monkey in the Middle: Mediat... > Logistics and Establishing Context f... - Pg. 102

Monkey in the Middle: Mediation and Arbitration 102 From the Manager's Desk At some point before the three-way meeting, each person should receive, in writing, a short list of expect- ations regarding what you will do and how they should conduct themselves during the three-way. For example, it might include things like "refrain from personal attacks," and "talk to each other, not me." · To clarify the actual problem and define it so it can be addressed. · To get a commitment to attend and participate in a three-way meeting (or get consent for the process). What is your role in the preliminary meeting? First, it's to explain the process, how it will work, and how each person will be heard. Second, you need to get each person talking to you. Use a lot of listening techniques and empathy-type statements (for example, "I can see this situation upsets you"). So then what? Both parties agree to participate in a three-way meeting and seem clear about how the process will work.