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Chapter 5. Keeping Your Feet on the Grou... > Using Self-Talk to Stay Balanced - Pg. 51

Keeping Your Feet on the Ground with Difficult People 51 The second part involves what goes on in your head. It works the same way. Turn your thinking to positive, solution-oriented paths and you will keep your balance much more frequently. You will be less controlled by the other person and more in control of yourself. Think Big Picture--Think Long Term When dealing with difficult people, particularly when we get caught up in the frustration, we tend to focus much too narrowly, or in the "right now." We get carried away and forget that what we're doing now may have implications for other people in the future. It's important to keep this in mind. After all, there is a tomorrow and another tomorrow to think about. Managers have to take into account the effects of what they're doing, not just with the difficult person, but other employees. They have to consider the effects not just today but six months from now. Using Self-Talk to Stay Balanced Self-talk is at the core of staying calm and in control in the face of difficult situations. Simply put, self-talk refers to the words and thoughts we say to ourselves. Even if you aren't aware of the exact words that you're saying to yourself, be sure that you have this quiet internal process going on within you. It's a very powerful force for helping you stay calm and changing your own behavior. We can divide self-talk into two categories: 1. 2. Negative self-talk makes it more difficult to find and use constructive solutions. Positive self-talk is more likely to help you find and use constructive solutions.