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Chapter 5. Keeping Your Feet on the Grou... > Using Self-Talk to Stay Balanced - Pg. 53

Keeping Your Feet on the Ground with Difficult People 53 If you become more adept at modifying your own self-talk, you will find you can be much more in control. How do you go about changing what you say to yourself? Well, it's not easy and takes some diligence and work. First, you have to identify the negative self-talk you use (we all have some). Then you have to decide what self-talk phrases would be better, so you can use them to replace the less constructive ones. Then, you have to try to catch yourself; when you use a negative self-talk phrase, replace it with a constructive one. Some people benefit from planning out this process. Make a list of your negative self-talk phrases on the left-hand side of a piece of paper. On the right-hand side, write down the more constructive replacements. If you do this consistently, over time you can succeed at making your internal dialogue more positive. It requires vigilance and a commitment of several months to work on it. That's because you are trying to learn new mental habits. The Least You Need to Know · You need to stay calm, balanced, and think things through rather than act too fast or reactively. · Focus on positive outcomes. · Work to change your negative self-talk. · Avoid blaming and labeling. · Slow yourself down when necessary.