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Chapter 24. Getting Less Difficult—Words... > How People Come to See You as Diffic... - Pg. 255

Getting Less Difficult--Words and Deeds 255 How People Come to See You as Difficult Generally, people come to see you as difficult as a result of one or both of the following. You do something really, really bad, like hollering or throwing things around your office or being really ag- gressive. Occasionally, one bad incident can color the perception of those around you, and it can do so permanently. The second way is far more gradual. People around you don't wake up some morning and suddenly realize how much of a pain you really are. It's a slow process that happens over time. It's perception by a thousand little paper cuts. For most difficult people it's a case of having too many small difficult quirks. Over time the people they interact with see them as more and more difficult. So what kinds of difficult quirks affect these perceptions and might make you appear difficult? It's simple. We can divide up your behavior (what you do) into two somewhat smaller chunks: your actions and words. People draw conclusions about you based on what you do or the actions you take. For example, your boss might look at whether you complete your work on time. Your employees might look at whether you buy great presents for them at holiday season time (OK, that's not a great example). Here's another one. Do you evaluate your staff's performance in a way that appears fair? Do you assign workloads fairly? This Won't Work!