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Chapter 25. Getting Less Difficult—The W... > Replacing Confrontational Language w... - Pg. 271

Getting Less Difficult--The Words, Ma'am, Just the Words 271 "Because the VP is on my back to get this done on time, I'd like to be in on what you're doing. Maybe I can help out if something comes up. How about if we meet briefly every morning for a status check?" Here, we've moved the emphasis from the employee to the idea that we are working together. The manager offers help. And rather than order the person around, the manager phrases the status check as a question. It's not that hard, is it? But it does take thinking. Shed Blatant Generalizations You just have to get rid of these; I order you to. You always use them! No wait. Let me rephrase. Perhaps you'll find that if you eliminate blatant generalizations, you will end up having fewer argu- ments. People may find you less difficult and easier to communicate with. Yes, that's it. It's true. This is a really easy one. Banish the words "always," "never," "every time," and similar absolute words to the same place where bad words go. You don't use the F word or the S word or any other of the seven words you can't say out loud. Neither is it going to help you if you use these absolute words. From the Manager's Desk