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Chapter 1. Don't Just Sit and Suffer > The Perils of Inaction - Pg. 8

Don't Just Sit and Suffer 8 Looking in the Mirror There's a second use for difficult people. Because difficult people lack some or many of the social graces and courtesies the rest of us have, they say things that have the power to provoke us to look in the mirror and see ourselves in different ways. That allows us to change and improve. In other words, they say things others won't. They provide a mirror to look at ourselves in ways we might otherwise miss. Of course, that's only if they have some useful insights and if we can stand to be around them long enough to actually listen. Still, though, a difficult person can be of value provided the costs associated aren't too high and we are prepared to listen and filter through the static. Again, we come back to the importance of managing difficult people to enhance their value and reduce their destructiveness. Avoid Being a Victim Here's a circle for you. To manage a difficult person, it is absolutely essential that you avoid be- coming a victim of that person. However, to avoid becoming a victim, guess what you need to do? Manage the situation and the person. True victimhood comes from adopting a victim mentality . That means allowing the difficult person to push you and pull you emotionally. It may also mean that the true victim becomes an unwitting accomplice to the difficult person by encouraging the difficult person to open up with guns blazing. Employee Handbook