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Part IV: Stress Reduction: The Self-Coac... > What If Others Are Causing Your Stre...

Chapter 17. What If Others Are Causing Your Stress?

This question pops up first in seminars on stress. And it is easy to see why this is such a common concern. In a stressful situation, it is natural to respond, “Someone else needs to change, or this situation needs to change. If only the circumstances were different, I wouldn’t have this stress.” In times of stress it is much harder to say, “I need to change.”

It is a paradox. If we follow our instincts and try to change other people, our stress will actually increase. But when we make a decision to change ourselves and take action toward a solution, we become stronger and the stress loses its power over us. And then there is often a fringe benefit. Once people stop pressuring others and start solving their part of the problem, the other people often change.


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