• Create BookmarkCreate Bookmark
  • Create Note or TagCreate Note or Tag
  • PrintPrint
Share this Page URL
Help

Chapter 13. Assertiveness > Assertiveness Defined

Assertiveness Defined

The scenarios described represent the kinds of stressful situations that we all confront each workday. What these situations have in common is that they call for an assertive response. Whether you are a boss, manager, new employee on the bottom rung of the ladder, factory worker, salesclerk, restaurant server, CEO, university professor, administrator, government worker, police officer, doctor, or beautician, situations will arise where you will need to assert yourself in order to deal with the situation and lower your stress level. Assertion involves standing up for your personal rights and expressing ideas, needs, feelings, and beliefs in direct, honest, and appropriate ways without violating the rights of other people (Lange & Jakubowski, 1976). When you are assertive you can accept compliments and take criticisms. You can negotiate for what you need, disagree with another, and ask for clarification when you don't understand. You can set limits when necessary, and you are able to say no (Fensterheim & Baer, 1975).

The basic message you are communicating when you are assertive is: This is what I think. This is what I feel. This is how I view the situation. This message expresses who you are and is said without dominating, humiliating, or degrading the other person. Assertion involves respect for others, but not deference. Deference is acting in a subservient manner, as though other people are right or better simply because they are older, more powerful, more experienced, more knowledgeable, or in an authority position over you. When you express yourself in ways that are self-effacing, appeasing, or overly apologetic you are showing deference. Two types of respect are intimately involved in assertion: (1) respect for yourself—that is, expressing your needs and defending your rights, and (2) respect for the rights and needs of the other person.


PREVIEW

                                                                          

Not a subscriber?

Start A Free Trial


  
  • Creative Edge
  • Create BookmarkCreate Bookmark
  • Create Note or TagCreate Note or Tag
  • PrintPrint