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Handling Anger

Managing our own anger can be challenging, and it can be doubly difficult to handle someone else’s. A situation that raises anger in one person may have no effect on another. Thus, it’s clear that anger is self-generated. If it is self-generated then it should be something that is under our control. If only it were that easy! It is helpful to think of anger as energy. You can channel that energy into destructive behaviors or allow it to help you create a positive outcome.

Three Keys to Understanding Anger

  1. Be responsible for how you choose to feel. People often give away their power by blaming someone else for their feelings. Others may do things that make it easy to choose to feel angry, but it is still your choice.

  2. Focus on the issue rather than the emotion when responding to another’s anger. Maintain your calm and do not respond to anger with anger.

  3. Remember that anger is simply a release of emotional energy that expresses how deeply the conflict, issue or situation affects you. This is valuable information that can be used to help resolve issues. Just because someone is angry does not mean they aren’t interested in resolving the issue. The consensus process requires that we express our feelings so that resolution can be reached.



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