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Eq #11. Listening Habits > Emotional Intelligence Exercise #11

Emotional Intelligence Exercise #11

Empathic listening is fundamental to demonstrating your concern as a leader. Six negative listening habits sometimes prohibit us from being a good listener. Put a check next to the listening habits that you may sometimes practice.

  • The Faker— All the outward signs are there: nodding, making eye contact, and giving the occasional uh huh. However, the faker isn't concentrating on the speaker. His mind is elsewhere.

  • The Interrupter— The interrupter doesn't allow the speaker to finish and doesn't ask clarifying questions or seek more information from the speaker. He's too anxious to speak his words and shows little concern for the speaker.

  • The Intellectual or Logical Listener— This person is always trying to interpret what the speaker is saying and why. He is judging the speaker's words and trying to fit them into his logic box. He rarely asks about the underlying feeling or emotion attached to a message.

  • The happy hooker— The happy hooker uses the speaker's words only as a way to get to his message. When the speaker says something, and frankly, it could be anything, the happy hooker steals the focus and then changes to his own point of view, opinion, story, or facts. Favorite hooker lines are, ''Oh, that's nothing, here's what happened to me...'' ''I remember when I was...''

  • The Rebuttal Maker— This listener only listens long enough to form a rebuttal. His point is to use the speaker's words against him. At his worst, he is argumentative and wants to prove you wrong. At the least, the person always wants to make the speaker see the other point of view.

  • The Advice Giver— Giving advice is sometimes helpful; however, at other times, this behavior interferes with good listening, because it does not allow the speaker to fully articulate his feelings or thoughts; it doesn't help the speaker solve his own problems; it prohibits venting; it could also belittle the speaker by minimizing his or her concern with a quick solution. Well-placed advice is an important function of leadership. However, advice given too quickly and at the wrong time is a turnoff to the speaker.



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