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Chapter 18. Put It in Writing > Writing Letters of Condolence - Pg. 192

Put It in Writing 192 · DON'T try to make it all better by saying things like "At least she went quickly and didn't suffer," or "How fortunate that the injuries weren't more severe." If the recipient wants to find a silver lining in the cloud, let him do so himself. · DO play it safe by saying less. When you're trying to be tactful, more is less. · DO say something positive and kind about the deceased person. Relaying a brief anecdote about an experience you had with the person or commenting on his or her character and per- sonality helps keep the memory alive. In the case of someone who is ill or injured, a comment about character will give the recipient hope that he or she can pull through the adversity. Quicksand Just because you send flowers and/or attend a funeral doesn't mean you shouldn't write a note of sympathy in a letter or card. It means a lot to a grieving family to have a written record of condolences, especially when the notes contain comments about the deceased person. · DO take recipients' religious beliefs into account. If they're not religious, don't say things like "We should be happy she's with God now," or "She's in a better place." You may believe that, but the grieving person may find those comments offensive when he'd rather have her on earth than in