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Chapter 22. Entertaining Speeches > Happy Birthday to You! - Pg. 186

Entertaining Speeches 186 Happy Birthday to You! If you suspect that you'll be asked to speak at an event where a large cake will be prominently featured, it's a good idea to have a few short lines memorized. There's the old story about the groom who was asked to say a few words to his bride. Everyone raised their glasses when the unprepared groom staggered to his feet and stammered: "Ladies and gentlemen, I... I don't know what to say. This thing was forced on me...." (How the bride responded is not on record.) Here are some birthday celebration lines you can use or adapt: · You're not as young as you used to be / But you're not as old as you're going to be / So watch it! · Another candle on your cake? / Well, that's no cause to pout, / Be glad that you have strength enough / To blow the damned thing out. · May you live a hundred years--with one extra year to repent. · Here's to a friend. He knows you well and likes you just the same. · Here's to our friends--and the strength to put up with them. · "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." --Lucille Ball · At age 52, Lady Astor said, "I refuse to admit that I'm more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." · "The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." --T. S. Eliot Speech of the Devil