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Chapter 12. How to Begin > Letter Editing

Letter Editing

  Even if you spend a lot of time writing for business, you may find yourself spending even more time editing. As you move up through the managerial ranks, you are likely to edit letters, memos, and reports written by others.

The following exercise offers some practice in editing letters. Read through the three paragraphs below; then edit directly on the letter to make it clearer, more concise, and more grammatically correct. You may rewrite sentences, but make sure that the original meaning is not lost.

March 16, 20XX

Annette Clark

Marketing Director

Central Coast Boat Fabrics

1493 Main Street

Morro Bay, CA 93442

Dear Annette:

Thank you for bringing to are attention your product. Kevlar is a good material to make boat hulls out of because it is not heavy like other hull fabrics and since it is used to make bulletproof vests and tank armor it is strong. It is difficult to punctuate a boat made of kevlar.

Unfortunately, kevlar is expensive and kevlar is very difficult to work with due to it’s strength. We at the present time do not have the necessary tools to work with this fabric.

For now, we will continue to construct the boats that we make out of fiberglass. As soon as we are ready for kevlar, however, you can be sure that your company will be carefully considered as a kevlar supplier.

Sincerely,

A.J. Smith

  DRAFT

FINAL

March 16, 20XX

Annette Clark

Marketing Director

Central Coast Boat Fabrics

1493 Main Street

Morro Bay, CA 93442

Dear Annette:

Thank you for bringing your product to our attention. Kevlar is a good material for boat hulls because it is strong, lightweight, and difficult to puncture. Unfortunately, Kevlar is also expensive and difficult to work with because of its strength. We do not have the necessary tools to work with this fabric.

For now, we will continue to construct our boats out of fiberglass, but as soon as we are ready for Kevlar, we will consider your company as a supplier.

Sincerely,

A.J. Smith




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