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Part I: Use Shirtsleeve English > Avoid Stuffiness and Clichés

Chapter 5. Avoid Stuffiness and Clichés

Stuffy formality is out of date. Would you ever say to someone: “If you need additional information, please do not hesitate to call me.”? Put a real person in your message. Talk directly to your reader. Use personal pronouns: I, we, you, and people’s names.

Stuffy: Pursuant to our conversation, enclosed please find the agenda for the upcoming sales conference which you requested.
Real: As we discussed, enclosed is the agenda for the upcoming sales conference.
or: John, I’ve enclosed the sales conference agenda you asked for.
Stuffy: We wish to take this opportunity to thank you for your participation in our recent fund-raising campaign for the animal shelter.
Real: Thank you, Mrs. Sanchez, for helping us raise over $35,000 for the animal shelter!



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