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Chapter 8. Assertive Techniques to Deal ... > Technique #3—Requesting Specific Fee...

Technique #3—Requesting Specific Feedback

Take another look at the last sample response for Technique #2. This leads us into the third and probably most powerful technique you can use in handling critical feedback that is vague: REQUESTING SPECIFIC FEEDBACK. With the use of questions, you can begin focusing on the future instead of dwelling on the past. Asking for information moves you directly into the ACTION stage and forces the negative critic to look at potential solutions instead of belaboring your failure. Also, it enlists the critic to be on your side.

Requesting Specific Feedback

What It Is: Active prompting of critical feedback by listening to your critic and asking questions to elicit his/her feelings.
What It Does: You gain information you can use, and you exhaust your critic’s complaints. You uncover true feelings and discover common ground.
Result: You break the manipulative cycle of critical feedback by improving understanding and communication.
Responses: “What, specifically, did I do that…”

“If you were in my shoes, what would you do differently?

“I’m not sure I’m clear about what your perception of the problem is. Could you please give me some examples…”

“Is that all you can think of right now that I could do to improve my performance?”




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