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Part VI: The Business Report > Exercise #24—Revising a Business Report

Chapter 33. Exercise #24—Revising a Business Report

Make appropriate changes to improve this report. The report is well-organized and information is clearly presented. On the other hand you will find some wordy or awkward sentences, a lack of parallelism, and occasionally a poor choice of words.


To: Bill Peterson

Office Manager

From: Doug Lee

Head of Accounting

I received your memo, which stated that our company is planning the purchase of some major equipment including a new telephone system, photocopier, computer and word processing system. As you requested, I have spent much time researching to find the types of stystems, which would benefit our company most.

Telephone System

I feel that the best telephone system for our company is the AT&T Touch-a-Matic 1600. The AT&T Touch-a-Matic 1600 was the highest rated telephone in the Consumer Reports, January 1987, for small businesses. The Touch-a-Matic costs about $120 per set and includes:

One- touch dialing for all numbers in memory.

Has three keys for one-touch dialing emergency calls.

Has a memory capacity of 15 telephone numbers with 11 digits.

Handset is of traditional design, for better comfort.

Digital display for number dialed, ringer off, clocktime, date, and call timer.


My research shows that the best photocopier for our company is the Savin 775. In the Consumer Reports, March 1987, the Savin 775 received a high rating for its:

clear, detailed copying.

copying in for different colors.

the many different sizes that can be made on the Savin 775.

The Savin 775 is very compact and would be very easy to move from one office to another. The Savin 775 costs about $750, with a two year warranty, the longest warranty offered on photocopiers.

The length of the warranty combined with the details of the copier, makes me feel that it would be an excellent purchase.



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