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Part III: Starting with the Sentence > Exercise #11—Eliminate Unnecessary Words

Chapter 15. Exercise #11—Eliminate Unnecessary Words

“Too many words” is a common fault of bad writing. Improve each of the following sentences by penciling out unnecessary words. Reword the sentence if needed.

1: Somebody has said that words are a lot like inflated money—the more of them that you use, the less each one of them is worth.
A: Somebody has said that words are a lot like inflated money—the more of them that you use, the less each one of them is worth.
2: I was unaware of the fact that your widget could be used for security purposes.
A: I was unaware of the fact that your widget could be used for security purposes.
3: Mr. Jones, who is a member of the same firm, put the report together in a hasty manner.
A: Mr. Jones, who is a member of the same firm, put the report together in a hasty manner.
4: The reason why we failed to reply is that we were not apprised of the fact until yesterday that somehow the report had been unavoidably delayed.
A: The reason why we failed to reply is that we were not apprised of the fact until yesterday that somehow the report had been unavoidably delayed.
5: The fact that he had not succeeded was brought to my attention recently.
A: The fact that he had not succeeded was brought to my attention recently.
6: The degree of importance in the level of accuracy depends upon the individual situations.
A: The degree of importance in the level of accuracy depends upon the individual situations.




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